Isaac "Felix" Gates (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordandshield) wrote2022-12-01 08:46 pm
swordandshield) wrote2022-12-01 08:46 pm
[ximilia] ic inbox
// felix
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XIMILIA
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But he had not made it as far in his career as a mercenary on the less-than-lawful side of the scale as a trusting man either. No, he was rife with paranoia. It was in his best interest at survival to trust no one, and he made a point of it.
Especially after the betrayal of his partner.]
You came all this way...for an apology?
[The inflection in his tone was one of genuine disbelief rather than hostility or provocation. He had just enough sense of mind not to speak his original phrasing of that question: you couldn't have done that through the network? Somehow, he supposed the young man thought it held more weight to give it in person. Not that it seemed to matter since the kid's demeanor and inflection left everything to be desired. It was nearly impossible to tell what the guy was thinking.
And wouldn't it just be appropriate enough for this to be a goddamn test of his character rather than a real apology. Felix didn't trust apologies either for the same reason he didn't give them: they were bullshit. Simply a way to make the individual apologizing feel better as if doing 'the right thing' somehow relieved them of their faults. Felix didn't apologize because he didn't need to feel like he was 'doing the right thing'. He didn't give a damn about right or wrong.
Felix didn't let the question stand on its own for long, however. He didn't want it to give the wrong impression. After all, if this was a test, he would rather pass it. It was in his best interest, and despite whether he liked it or not, his best interests for survival were always what won out in the end.
Visibly, he relaxed and audibly he kept his tone to careful neutral inflections. Well, maybe a bit of pride seeped in again at the obvious moment.]
Well, yeah. I know how to operate a mission. [He paused to think and pulled his helmet off in a sign of camaraderie. And allow him to take a swig of his drink. He licked his lips.] I know that my behavior on the network wasn't...appropriate under the circumstances. But it's easy to rail on a guy when they're not in any actual danger. Especially when you don't like someone.
I don't have to like everyone to work with them. A team is still a team. The military taught me that. When we're on a mission, the mission takes priority. It's what we're all here for.
[Even if the team tended to like to go off mission a lot. As long as they still got the original job done, though, Felix found he didn't care about the rest of the details. Helping or hurting people, it didn't make a difference to him. Especially so long as there was action involved. That was were he shined the best in either case.]
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Of course.
（ there is a moment where he lowers his gaze, focusing on the edge of his cup as he rubs his thumb against it with a low crystal hum. ）
Dogs in his world are demonic creatures. Many are known to breathe fire, or swallow people whole. His fear was not unfounded, but you could not have known that.
（ a tired, quiet sympathy filters through his tone the way ivy crawls through brick, and then he lifts one shoulder in half a shrug and takes another drink, long fingers elegantly braced against the condensation enshrouding the glass. ）
What happened with the two of you, if you don't mind my asking? He would not say.
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Although to be fair he had never had to fight off demonic dogs. And the Covenant forces did not enter his life until several years later, were still only vague shapes on a television screen whenever the galactic news played. He had other woes as an orphaned child back then.
At the question, Felix's gaze flicked away and his hand tapped restlessly upon the tabletop. He took another drink of the liquid infamous in this bar, buying him time as he wrestled with an answer.]
...it was stupid. [Honest truth. Didn't mean he wasn't still pissed about it. That it hadn't festered and grown into a larger ordeal than it had originally ever been in his twisted mind. For reasons Felix himself probably didn't entirely understand the full connotations of.] I was attacked. He took his time making jokes instead of helping. And when it was over, he was still making shitty-ass jokes about it. I still don't know what his problem was!
[Not that they didn't have a completely different problem between them now but that was another story entirely. Felix's fingers were back to tapping restlessly on the table. An anxious tick he didn't notice he was doing. It wasn't the retelling of the story with Wei Wuxian that made him feel this way--it was the tangential remembrance of betrayal from another time which did that.]
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That does sound like him. He isn't always the most empathetic person.
（ he cares for the man, of course, but no one is without flaw.
he sighs, and leans his elbow along the table idly, bent so that he can lean into his palm. his fingers curl into his dark hair. he looks tired, more than anything else in the low light.
the distant sound of billiard balls careening off one another gets a very faint flinch. ）
He did something similar to me in Giva — before your time, I believe — but it worked out in the end.
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Yeah, that was... several missions before I got here, in fact. [But he read the files because that was the smart thing to do. One of the few hang-overs from his spec op days that was actually good to keep. His jaw muscle twitched as he tried to figure out what to say to the rest.] Well I don't always have the patience to put up with bullshit.
[Talking had always been his biggest weakness. He never knew when to shut up as his partner constantly liked to remind him. Felix knew it was true. He knew it was a weakness of his. But it was one that he didn't curb as much as he might should. Because talking was his way of being him even when he was playing the long con.
He'd fucked that up already. No sense in wasting effort on pretending otherwise. Or to stop himself from talking bluntly. He did, however, huff out his remaining breath in annoyance and slump forward, hands wrapping around the bottle of his drink and pulling it closer without actually taking a drink this time. He looked at Itachi and asked somberly:]
What happened? Back on Giva and afterward. How did it all work out in the end?
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at first, it seems as if he may refuse to answer by the set of his jaw and the way his gaze sharpens slightly. wei wuxian is, after all, a friend of his and he would sooner not malign him terribly now — much less to one who has no reason to like him. but then, with a tap of his fingers to the glass: ）
Taeum was... profligate in its vices. They had endless rooms, behind which anything one could desire might be found — and as it was this world's envisioning of the concept of 'heaven', they had excised all sin. Nothing was forbidden. People could enact horrors upon one another without censure from their peers — there were rooms in which they would partake of sexual acts others might find abhorrent were they not committed in the name of 'heaven'. Others, where people could engage in endless battle, for instance, or spend their days lost to drink or drug.
（ his fingers tighten about the glass, and his knuckles are briefly white before he continues: ）
I do not care to speak on specifics. But, for what he did I engineered his arrest. He saw it as a betrayal, and I saw it as justice. It took us many months to reconcile. He is worth knowing, if he cares for you. But I cannot deny he has a cruel streak.
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